Abandon Hope

JoBlo have some more news on Johnny Depp’s role in the upcoming I Am Legend adaptation. And it ain’t good.

It seems that Matheson’s beautiful, original story is getting brutalised for its new incarnation, and won’t bear any resemblance to the novel. A prime example: The Cortman character - the part I originally thought Depp would play - won’t even exist in the film.

According to JoBlo, Depp and Smith will be a double team fighting dumb mutant vampire creatures that can’t even speak. Shouldn’t that be We Are Legend?

But it’s worse than that. The original title doesn’t even make sense if there’s more than one protagonist. And the final third of the book isn’t even possible given the changes they’ve made to the vampires.

I’m all for an action movie in which Depp and Smith fight vampires, but please don’t piss on a great story like Legend by doing another Omega Man. That said, it sounds like the God awful Omega Man was a more faithful adaptation than this will be.

Via [FilmStalker](http://www.filmstalker.co.uk/archives/2006/07/depps_legend_r ole_altered.html).

Update + Photo

I’ve not been posting with a great deal of regularity lately. Things have been busy. I apologise.

All that is coming to an end. Normal service will be resumed shortly. In fact, better than normal; I have some plans for the site…

One last thing: Zooomr are giving away Pro accounts to anyone who’ll link to a hosted image from their blog. I’m a sucker for free, so you can have a picture of me wearing a cooler bag on my head, and I’ll have a free Pro account - deal? In return, I promise to write about the site in a bit more detail. Oh, and apologies in advance…

[![Me + Cooler bag](http://static.zooomr.com/images/fbe0248f0a89d0c74e111fa191 d30471fcfdad42.jpg)](http://beta.zooomr.com/photos/gmail_daniel.woolstencroft/ 75918/)

Review: Superman Returns

[![superman_returns_ver2.jpg](http://www.istherefood.com/wp-content/uploads/.t humbs/.superman_returns_ver2.jpg)](http://www.istherefood.com/wp- content/uploads/superman_returns_ver2.jpg)”Why the world doesn’t need Superman”. That’s the title of Lois Lane’s Pulitzer winning article, an article fueled by the emotions felt after the inexplicable disappearance of the man she loved. It could just as feasibly be the subtitle of Brian Singer’s attempt at bringing the Man of Steel back to cinema screens. But what was Singer’s driving emotion?

Perhaps the bigger question is: Do we really need a new Superman film? Aren’t the original films iconic representations of a lost age of film-making? There’s no CGI, no bullet-time, and no attempt at the sort of epic set pieces that Singer tries to accomplish here. And they’re all the better for it.

That’s not to say that Superman Returns is terrible, although I know there are those of you out there that take that view - that’s what the comments are for. It’s just that it doesn’t feel like it belongs. It’s an attempt at recapturing the original film’s atmosphere, but with so much soulless CGI extravagance that it misses the point entirely. Comparisons with Ang Lee’s The Incredible Hulk aren’t entirely unfair: swap tedious psychological pondering with tedious melodrama and the two have a fair bit in common. In its over-long two and a half hour runtime, Superman Returns attempts to cram in the themes of lost love, fatherhood, trust, the meaning of life, and heroism, topped off with a hint of religious metaphor.

And while it’s unfair to say that none of the themes work on any level, they don’t carry the sort of depth that it appears the writers feel they’ve bestowed upon the film. As a final film in a trilogy featuring consistent actors, carrying the momentum through to its concluding final act and bestowing a greater sense of emotional attachment on the audience, Returns might have worked brilliantly. But in a time when cinematic rebooting of super hero stories are all the rage, it’s odd that this is the film that brings Superman back.

Which is the other problem: nobody wanted, or perhaps dared, to reboot the original franchise. Christopher Reeve’s truly iconic portrayal of Superman has a fiercely guarded place in people’s hearts. As an example, my wife refuses to see Superman Returns, disgusted as she is that this new film has been allowed to exist. Singer and co. are either obsessed with Richard Donner’s original film to the point of mimickery (as some reviewers suggest) or are so incapable of escaping the weight of Superman’s cinematic legacy that they feel unable to change things by too great an extent. The classic score remains, Marlon Brando’s lines of dialogue are featured heavily, and the opening titles are created to resemble those of 1978. Albeit with a large dose of CGI in the background.

The look of the film (although oddly not Superman’s costume) could have been ripped straight out of the original. The fashions, the look of the buildings, and the use of colour all have a retro style to them. It’s particularly clear when looking at Lois Lane’s outfits that this is not meant to be set in the present day. And while I appreciate the reasons behind the tweaks to Superman’s costume, it doesn’t make a great deal of sense when everything else is so lacking in modernisation. Yes, the Daily Planet have attached flat screen tvs to every available column in their office, but the place still feels like it doesn’t exist in the present day. Metropolis looks more like Kong’s New York, than a modern city.

Which presents another uncomfortable clash of old and new: the actors. Given that the look of the film is so clearly not modern, the actors - particularly Bosworth and Routh - look incredibly modern. Kate Bosworth, looking for all the world like a (slightly) younger Dina Meyer, doesn’t do a bad job. It’s just that the job she’s doing isn’t playing Lois Lane. She looks too young to believably have a child, acts too young to have been a reporter for as long as we’re supposed to accept she has, and just doesn’t embody the character like Hatcher and Kidder have before her. Admittedly, she had a lot to live up to.

But of everyone in this film, nobody had more weight on their shoulders than Brandon Routh. To give him his credit, I thought he did…OK. I don’t see how he could ever have lived up to the full expectation of any fan of Reeve’s original performance. It’s unfortunate that, at times, he’s clearly imitating Reeve (less as Superman, more as Kent) and this opens him up to a direct comparison that will inevitably reflect badly. Whether Singer actually wanted a Reeve-laden performance, or whether Routh felt he was in some way honoring him by doing it, I don’t know.

I’m not surprised in any way, and I find it quite hard to be disappointed; this is a new actor, plunged into a role with such weight, expectation, and power that he would surely fall short by some degree. We’re not talking about Keaton or Bale as Batman; we’re not even in Toby Maguire territory: Routh is a complete unknown and carrys the role off as well as anyone else I can think of. Which doesn’t mean I think the whole adventure was a good idea…

It’s also worth mentioning Kevin Spacey. The most accomplished actor here (or should that credit go to the criminally under-used Frank Langella? Or the virtual performance from Marlon Brando?) Spacey fails to make any real impact. Most of his best lines are included in the trailer, and he’s understated more often than not, leading to a performance that doesn’t ever really make much of an impression. His gang of stooges, Parker Posey included, feel like another throwback to the original films and feel similarly out of place here. Still, Spacey doesn’t do a bad job per se, but the role seems to be comprised of all the old Lex Luthor cliches; it’s time to find Superman a new cinematic villain, methinks. That said, Luthor’s presence does lead to an unintentionally hilarious scene involving the dramatic discovery of a collection of wigs.

And, finally, it would be criminal to not mention James Marsden, who turns in the best performance of the film. I can’t help but see him as a young, American version of Cary Elwes, and it’s a comparison I’ve never noticed before. I’ve never really classed myself as a fan, and I doubt I ever will, but here he comes across as a likable, dashing husband to Lois Lane and he’s almost certainly the character that conveys the best, and possibly only, sense of pathos. It’s a testament to the Lois/Superman storyline’s lack of effectiveness that we root for her husband, not the supposed Man of Steel. Surely that wasn’t the desired outcome?

All of the above sounds overly negative, and that doesn’t reflect my enjoyment of the film. Because I did enjoy it. Despite it’s lack of pace, goofy script, cliched plot, and a final 30 minutes that just will not end, I enjoyed it. It’s not the best super hero film I’ve seen all year, nor is it the most emotional super hero film I’ve seen all year: X3 takes both of those titles, the film that a certain Mr Singer decided not to bother with. To be totally honest, it’s a bad super hero film, full stop. But it’s not a terrible film, and it’s certainly not the worst film I’ve seen this year.

As an action-chick-flick for a new generation of Superman fans, it delivers. For those of us who are fans of the original, or were brought up on it - and it certainly seems like that’s the audience this is aimed at - it’s an moderately enjoyable, but unimpressive sequel, which should probably never have happened.

So does the world need Superman? I’m not convinced. Regardless, Brian Singer and the studio appear to be, as Singer has confirmed the sequel. Maybe they’ll follow the example of the Incredible Hulk sequel and give us something a little more action packed? I can’t help but feel that the weight of expectation is somewhat lifted after (what will be perceived as) a semi- successful return to our screens, which will hopefully result in a more enjoyable second outing for Routh, Bosworth et al.

Trailer Roundup

I’ve been a bit crap with keeping up with trailers lately. So I’ve had a bit of a binge, and here’s my thoughts:

  • Jet Li’s Fearless - Looks like one of the old school tournament fight movies that Van Damme started out with. Albeit one with the wire-fu and Crouching Tiger treatment. Looks like it could be fun.

  • Charlotte’s Web - I can recall reading the book when I was at school (I think) and this looks like as faithful an adaptation as I suppose we can expect. Not sure about Julia Roberts as Charlotte, but I’ll wait and see. Prime Christmas fodder, methinks.

  • Clerks 2 - don’t even get me started. Randal, Dante, Jay, and Silent Bob return. Can’t wait.

  • Invincible - Good cast, and looks like good direction. And I do love a good NFL movie.

  • John Tucker Must Die - The gardener from Desperate Housewives and a bunch of Cheerleaders. Yawn

  • The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford - difficult to make much of the trailer, but I still hope this one’s good.

  • Running With Scissors - Annette Benning, Brian Cox, Alec Baldwin et al in a surprisingly good looking picture. Probably one for DVD, but I must remember not to overlook it.

  • Borat - The man behind Ali G returns for another feature length outing. Which might not be a good thing.

  • The Wicker Man - Whoever decided this was a good idea for a remake needs to be shot.

  • Pulse - Potentially creepy looking remake. The cast all look a bit too young and pretty which could be a bad thing - and one of them’s Christina Milian, which can’t be good - but I like the idea. Maybe I ought to watch the original first.

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Beginning - I nearly walked out of the first film, and this was in danger of being more of the same. I’m quite please to say it looks to be quite a bit better though. In fact, from the trailer this seems to have more in common with the original than the first remake. Plus, David J. Schow is joint credited with the screenplay, so it can’t be that bad. I’ll give it a go.

  • Miami Vice - I’m a big fan of Michael Mann’s work, and when I heard he was taking care of the cinematic version of his series I was pleased. In the hands of anyone else, this could have sucked badly. With Mann at the helm, I’m quite looking forward to it.

That’s all for now. I’ll try to keep on top of things from now on. All this trailers can either be found Apple’s trailer page, or Dave’s.

Rifftrax

Mike Nelson has started a new site called Rifftrax. If you’re not aware of Mike, he’s the guy that started Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and appears to now specialise in comedy commentaries for films.

I’ve already got a version of Night of the Living Dead with a Nelson commentary (well worth having), but now Mike’s selling additional commentaries through the site. The first one: Road House! Yes, now you can enjoy this Patrick Swayze “masterpiece” with “hilarious” commentary from Mike.

It’s got to be worth a go, right?

Texas Chainsaw 2: New DVD Release

Arrow in the Head is reporting that a new release of Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is on its way. How exciting!

The picture quality on the existing release leaves much to be desired, so given that this one boasts “a new anamorphic widescreen transfer” I have high hopes for a decent release.

No mention of a Dennis Hopper commentary though…shame.